


Significant Otter

by mm8



Category: Doctor Who
Genre: F/M, Humor, Love, Making Up, Marriage, Otters, fight
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-12-01
Updated: 2015-12-01
Packaged: 2018-05-04 07:35:40
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,032
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5325974
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/mm8/pseuds/mm8
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>"I lived among otters once for a month. Well, I sulked. River and I, we had this big fight..."</p>
            </blockquote>





	Significant Otter

**Author's Note:**

  * For [hanorganaas](https://archiveofourown.org/users/hanorganaas/gifts).



Otters weren't as friendly as humans. Or talkative. He had always assumed that otters were a funny bunch to get on with from all the videos and gifs Clara had made him watch over the years. To be honest, before he started out on this he knew five key points about otters:

1\. They were animals.  
2\. They liked water.  
3\. They liked rocks. In fact, they had favorites.  
4\. They liked to smack each other in the face with the toys the zookeepers provided.  
5\. Clara insisted that Benedict Cumberbatch (whoever the hell he was) resembled an otter.

Perhaps, looking back, he should have done more research.

It was all River's fault really.

She had claimed, incorrectly of course, that the button for the flux capacitor was the small pink button on the underside of the console, while he had correctly stated that the flux capacitor switch was red and white-y striepy like a candy cane and was on the wall next to his bookshelf of original signed copies of Hamlet. Yes, the entire bookcase was filled with copies of Hamlet and why not? Didn't matter because she was wrong!

In the end, he may have said some things that he shouldn't have and regretted now. Like how she was insufferable, did that marriage ceremony even count anyway since it technically never happened, and that her hair looked downright awful.

He'd figured he'd hit her hardest on the marriage bit, but River's last straw was the crack about her hair. Which to be honest, confused the Doctor quite a lot. He had commented negatively on Clara's hair loads of times, more than he could count. And Clara had never kicked him out of her flat because of it.

Well, for some reason River was infuriated and told him in no uncertain terms that he was a crotchety old man and who didn't give a rat's ass about anyone but himself, and that if he if he didn't like her that much he could go and live with otters.

She'd struck a nerve and River knew it. Perhaps because they had been together as long as they had they knew how to pick each other apart to the bone. It bothered him more than he tried to let on that he was old now, physically, outwardly old. He'd always been old, but in all of his recent regenerations he'd always been able to get around that and appeared to be young. And his regeneration was just… _mean_. He was awful and quick to anger and give up on humans. A lot of times, he simply felt too exhausted to care anymore. Sometimes, he felt too tired to care about his wife.

They shouted a bit more. Mostly the Doctor taking River up on her offer and saying that fine, he _would_ live with otters! It'd be a lot better than being with her! And demanding that she get out of the TARDIS because it was _his_ TARDIS.

That had been over a month ago. The TARDIS was quite angry at him once River had departed but had begrudgingly landed him at a zoo in Cleveland in the 22nd century. Over the course of the past 30 days, the Doctor had to add to his list about otters:

6\. They liked holding hands. At least they didn't hug.  
7\. Total show-offs.  
8\. They didn't care about things like scientific theories or his stories about time travel. They only cared about when the zookeeper was coming around for their next meal or the next group of tourists would come by for them to show off.  
9\. Zookeepers are dumb. None of them suspected he wasn't really an otter.  
10\. He missed River.

The Doctor was stretched out on one of the many rocks in the habitat, bathing in the Ohio sun. His other otters were running about, chasing each other in and out of the water, all except for one. "You know, Devlin… Yes I know you're name isn't Devlin, but your proper name is horrid. Well," the Time Lord tilted his head, and shielded the sun from his face. "You know what? So is Devlin. Got to think of a new name for you. Harrold, have you ever been married before?"

Devlin|Harrold made a sort of otter-y noise in the negative.

"No, I didn't think so," the Doctor sighed heavily. "I don't know if otters get married or even know of the concept. Consider yourselves lucky."

Devlin|Harrod blurbed and clicked his tongue in question. _Why are you married if it causes you so much pain?_

It was such a stunning question that it made the Doctor's brain actually take pause. Not many people could make that happen to him, so he had to give Devlin|Harrold credit. It was a question that he wouldn't put past Clara for asking him if she ended up in one of her more philosophical moods.

He wasn't quite sure how to answer Devlin|Harrold. He and River had got married rather hastily in order to save the entire universe from collapsing. It wasn't really much thought put into it beyond that. Their courting had been more than strange to begin with. Witnessing her death, saving her to a computer, meeting her as a newborn, having River murder him in the middle of Nazi Germany. It was just… odd. Things that equipped with a sane normal marriage like love, children, stability, all flew out the window with them.

So it begged the question, the Doctor thought, if the universe was good and saved from The Silence and had been for an awful long time, why was he still married to River Song?

Was it out of pure convenience? It was simply easy to stay married than be divorced and alone? Was it because he didn't want to be alone? That is why he had Clara, wasn't it? He was sure that Clara or even Amy would say that he needed someone more around who wasn't just a companion or friend. But was River even that?

And she wasn't all that bad. She clever, quick on her feet and challenging. It was nice occasionally not having to explain the basics of time travel and the universe, but still had to explained other things. But it was refreshing to banter with someone who was interested in the same subjects as you. It'd be a pain to have her around all the time of course. And she was pretty.

_Doctor_

"Shut up, Harrold, I'm thinking!"

_You've been doing that for three days._

"Have I?" The doctor wondered aloud. He licked the tip of his left index finger and lifted it into the air. Yes, definitely a Thursday. Sure enough he was still lying on his little patch of rock, except now that three days had apparently gone by the Earth's sun had cooked his skin quite a bit. Clara would be angry when she saw him the next time with a deep tan. She'd figure he had gone and have some sort of great adventure without her. Of course she would be fairly disappointed to learn that he'd only been in a zoo in a America for a month masquerading as an otter.

"I suppose I have. Tell me, Harrold, what do otters do when they like other otters?"

He felt something rather wet and webbed in his right palm. The Doctor looked down, frowning. Harrold had drifted off to sleep. The Doctor's thick eyebrows shot up. _"Oh,"_ he thought.

• • •

It was another week later when his life as an otter came to an abrupt end. He was floating belly-up in the pool with Devlin|Harrold by his side, holding his hand. To be honest, the Doctor felt a little horrid because of his large otter frame, he took up the majority of the pool and his fellows either glared murderously at him and Devlin|Harrold or decided they didn't care that their pool was now filled up by a giant man-sized otter, they were going to play and bathe no matter what. He liked those otters more than the ones who did nothing but stare.

It was around ten o'clock in the morning, telling by the sun. Usually during this time on Friday mornings, there were large groups of primary school children on field trips. They'd enter through the gate around 9 o'clock, commonly hit the birds first, the parrots, the owls, the American Bald Eagles, make their way down a windy path to the large white tiger enclosure and spend up to 45 minutes there. After the white tiger, the kids would be all hyped up as they trotted down the lane to the pool of the sea otters. Like clockwork, the Doctor heard the quick footfalls on the pavement approaching their habitat and the telltale giggles.

"And next we have the sea otters," the tour guide announced to the children, her voice boomed so everyone could hear.

The Doctor knew that voice and knew it well. He'd only closed his eyes for a moment, trying to get some sleep, but now his eyes flew open and he was alert.

"They're the heaviest of the weasel family; the adults weighing up to 99 pounds."

"I think that one is a bit heavier than that, Miss."

"Quite observant, Ava. Why do we think that is, hm?"

"Cause it's fat?"

"No, because he's actually not a sea otter at all. He's a rare otter, in fact at one point it was thought he was the only one of his kind. Usually he does not mate with others, though when he does, he picks a mate not unlike himself. This otter is fierce with his passions, quick to temper, often stupid. Usually he does not mate with others, though when he does, he picks a mate not unlike himself. And when he gets in a fight with his mate and runs off in a sulk to join another group of otters, the mate of the will do whatever is in her power to find him, traveling to the ends of the earth until she finds her mate again."

"Why would she do that Miss?"

"Because she loves her rare otter unconditionally."

The Doctor sprang into action. He let go out Devlin|Harrold, practically skipped across the various decorations in the habitat and leaped over the wall. In three long strides he was breathless, but by River's side.

The children, a group of about twenty, all gasped in unison. "That otter _walks_!" A little boy with ruddy hair and his finger up one nostril exclaimed.

"Yes, that's the shocking bit," the Doctor countered. "River, did you mean all that?"

She reached up and touched his sun-damaged cheek. It stung, but he craved her touch more than he would ever admit. He closed his eyes and let a pleasurable sigh escape his lips. River's body pressed up against his own as she reached up to whisper directly in his ear, "Always."

In a flash, the Doctor took a step backward. His mind raced a million miles a second. He paced back and forth; he might have bowled over a child or two. Clara would have made him apologize, but now his thoughts were elsewhere. Instantly, he was at River's side again, cradling her face and staring deep into her gorgeous eyes. Her face was full of bliss, just like it had been the time they had said their final goodbye on Trenzalore. Spoilers for her, but ancient history for him. Rassilon, why did they have to been so complicated?

The nearest child, apparently who had no sense of staying out of others business and personal space, tugged on River's pant leg to gain her attention. "Miss,are you married to an otter?"

His wife smiled sweetly at the girl. "I suppose I am."

All of the children began to giggle and gossip about how Miss Lyric and the fat otter were gonna sit in a tree K-I-S-S-ING.

"How did you find me?" he asked

"Does it matter?"

"Suppose not," he dug his fists into his deep trouser pockets. "Now will you excuse me, I have to break some horrible news to Harrold."

**Author's Note:**

> * Kudos are amazing and I will never stop asking for them, but getting comments, actual feedback from readers means so much. Taking five seconds out of your time can really make my day.
>   
> 
> * You can follow me on [tumblr](http://mm8fic.tumblr.com/)  
> 


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